A basic trip to Walmart and free eBooks

A basic trip to Walmart…

It basically went like this: Mom said … “Hey, I’m leaving for Walmart in a few minutes.”

I thought ‘HUH?’ But I said, “Um, okay, give me a sec. and I will stop what I am doing and we will go.”

This is how my mother goes to Walmart. I asked if she had told me in advance and she said… “Yes, I told you I was going Monday,” and the sad thing is she actually might have…

So we went to Walmart, the home of screaming children, rude adults, and all the sarcastic people you could ever want to meet in one place at one time. Several little unsupervised children were playing tag in the aisles. Screaming, almost knocking stuff over. I saw no parents. Store employees were actually shaking their heads.

Then several store employees were restocking and blocking whole aisles. And so when you come down the aisle whoever was ahead of you is glaring at you like “You better not try to cut the line!” Meanwhile whoever turned down the aisle behind you is running into you, and you are thinking, damn, if I were Sly Stallone I could just machine gun these… Never mind…

So, I did not injure anyone. Great restraint on my part. Instead I used my eyes and killed them where they stood. Super Man would have been proud, or any other Super Hero that can kill people with their eyes; not truly sure that Superman can do that.

Anywho…, then Mom sent me with a list of stuff to get. Got it and found mom had disappeared. I suspected Ben Linus may have had something to do with it. Searched the entire store and just as I was about to admit defeat and have her paged I found her. I think that implies I would never have admitted defeat. Then I thought, ‘how on earth are we going to escape this island?’ Then I realized I was not a character on LOST and gathered it in.

Didn’t kill any of the rude people that cut mom off (An eighty plus year old woman in an electric cart), slammed into my cart and made it to the checkout only to have a lady pull in behind me and start placing things on the conveyor belt… I thought &*^%$##@@$%^ but of course I didn’t say &*^%$##@@$%^. Instead I looked at mom and she wheeled ahead to let me get the cart ahead of her. Arrggg.

Then I tried to leave the checkout and a lady slammed into me and glared at me. I thought, Wow, is it open season on stupid housewives? But no, it wasn’t, so again I let that one pass, collected mom and we managed to make it all the way back to the car without further incident…

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